The article "2 Basic..." from last week really got me thinking, and interestingly, its echo has carried over into this week. Usually, even though we might push the thought aside, we know that we will die. However, there were two paths discussed last week: an irrational fear of this reality or a reminder that we shouldn't limit ourselves in living life, as it is finite.
It is true that in "2 Basic...", it was concluded that "Memento mori" should be a declaration of struggle against the world, interpreting it as a confrontation with ourselves. The underlying question: "Am I satisfied with what I've done in life? Can I honestly say that I was truly myself, or was I simply pressured by the 'Monarchs of Shadows'?"
I must admit that, without intending to, I overlooked a little detail. We often focus only on the big details, as they are "the ones that truly matter": being born or dying, love or heartbreak, passing a class or failing it, graduating or dropping out, and so on. However, we take the little details for granted.
As I worked on "2 Basic...", a part of Dennis Lloyd's song "GFY" kept coming to mind, specifically the interlude where he quotes Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski from a TEDx Talk titled Break-Ups Don't Have to Leave You Broken:
"And whether your relationship is horrible, good, or great, we don't like endings. We don't like losing things. And we especially don't like losing things that are important to us. And make no mistake, relationships are the most important thing to you and your life. They're the source of all of your best memories. They're the source of all of your worst memories. When you think back on your life, and you're 95, 100 years old, and you look back over the course of your life, you're not going to think, "I wish I had a better phone, I wish I spent more time on the Internet, I wish I spent more time at work or sleeping," it's not going to be any of those things. It's going to be, "I wish I spent more time with the people I love."'" (Lewandowski, 2015)
As we can see, Lewandowski makes a rather curious play on words using "endings” and “losing.” Even in his example, he refers to old age, which most would interpret as frail and tired, almost approaching death.
While "Memento mori" reminds us that we will die, which is the "big detail” of this story, it would be wise to consider "the little detail," or rather, "the little details," which is: "everything has a beginning, so everything has an end." But let's be honest, if we are capable of forgetting that our time on this earth is finite, what makes us think we will always keep in mind that everything we start will eventually come to an end?
This is not something to take lightly, as it is something we live with daily, and almost everyone struggles with it, whether it's venturing into something new (starting), or closing a chapter in life (finishing). Interestingly, this often shares similarities with how people react when facing it.
There are those who think that since everything ends, they must do everything possible to achieve all their desires and dreams in this life, pushing themselves to the point of exhaustion. This was discussed in depth in the article "In Situ."
On the other hand, there are those who, even if they don't admit it, are afraid of endings because they don't want to lose that relationship or situation that is coming to a close. However, due to their dual thinking of "this is ending” and "I don't want this to end," they end up paralyzed between "The Cliff & The Dragon."
It all boils down to decisions. The phrase goes, “There's a big gap between saying and doing." But the purpose of this article is not to force you to make decisions that only concern you but to bring attention to something that, like "Memento mori," has become a cliché and is so basic that it has been overlooked, even though it's essential in our lives.
While one could create a whole series of articles about starting and ending things, I don't intend to make these decisions more complicated than they already are. What I want to show is that from an army to an individual, they both face the same thing.
Hello!
Sun Tzu advised generals that if their weapons had lost their sharpness, their energy was spent, their forces exhausted, and their treasury empty, neighboring sovereigns would take advantage of their vulnerability, and no advice could help them chart a prosperous future (Tzu et al., 2016). In simpler terms: "We all have limitations: our energy and abilities will take us only as far as they allow. [...] You must know and carefully choose your battles." (Greene, 2020, p. 145)
Let's remember that being busy all the time or being involved in everything doesn't make us more efficient or productive. Nor is it always valid that "whoever dares wins" Know yourself; in the end, only you will fight your battles.
Goodbye!
Sun Tzu also recommended that generals focus on victory as their great goal, not on long campaigns. Therefore, the leader of the army is the one who decides the fate of the people, the one whose actions determine whether the nation is at peace or in danger (Tzu et al., 2016). Or, as Greene illustrates, one must learn when to stop and not go beyond the original goal: "The moment of triumph is often the moment of greatest danger. [...] There's nothing like strategy and careful planning. Set a goal and, when you achieve it, stop." (Greene & Elffers, 2010, p. 500)
Sometimes there are battles that are lost or have come to an end, but due to monotony, we've become accustomed to that struggle. No matter how difficult it is, let's turn the page by saying goodbye to what has been, and hello to what is yet to come.
I wish it were that easy to do, but the first step is acceptance, they say. That's why I think it's completely valid to occasionally remind ourselves of how fragile we are as beings, so that we truly value what fills us and represents us.
Satoricha ~
References
Greene, R. (2020). Las 33 Estrategias de la Guerra. Editorial Oceano de Mexico.
Greene, R., & Elffers, J. (2010). Las 48 leyes del poder (J. Elffers, Ed.). Editorial Atlántida.
Lewandowski, G. (Director). (2015, Abril 28). Break-Ups Don’t Have to Leave You Broken (Season Let's talk about sex and dating) [TV series episode]. In TEDx Talks (Executive Producer), TEDxNavesink [Youtube]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw2qD87KDHc (Original work published 2015)
Tzu, S., Lao-Tzu, Confucius, & Mencius. (2016). The Art of War & Other Classics of Eastern Philosophy. Canterbury Classics.