Throughout our journey of self-discovery in this saga of Warrior in a Garden, we have encountered "The Monarchs of Shadows," "The Malaria of Mediocrity," and "The Duende of Essences." However, there is still one enigmatic character left to be introduced, one who knows each of the figures above and, when it suits them, uses them to their advantage. We could say that this person is a kind of "coyote" of life, for they are present in all but belong to none. This character is called "The Captain." Captain of what? The Captain of the Pirates of Dreams.
THE TRIAD
It is crucial to understand ourselves before attempting to understand others. Of course, this complex task can take years, if not an entire lifetime. However, gradually accumulating everything we can learn about ourselves is essential. We constantly deal with our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors— deeply understood by American psychiatrist Aaron Temkin Beck, who articulated them in his Cognitive Triad theory.
The Cognitive Triad posits that all situations in our lives trigger three key elements: our thoughts, which serve as the medium through which we interpret each situation; emotions, which arise in response to that interpretation; and behavior, influenced by our thoughts and emotions.
Aaron T. Beck developed this theory in the context of depression. However, the Triad can be experienced by anyone, as our human construct is based on the interaction between the body, mind, and emotions; for some, it also includes a spiritual component.
Why bring up the Triad? It is a crucial element in understanding how the Captains of the Pirates of Dreams deceive us into boarding their ships and becoming part of their daring crews, all the while stealing from us without our realizing it and, at the same time, making us work for them.
"HAVE FAITH"
Greene (2020) mentions that it is necessary to decode people, as they will always try to show their best version. They will attempt to mask and disguise their darker side and any opposing feelings they may harbor.
These individuals can become extraordinarily kind and perform actions to ingratiate themselves with us, learning our weaknesses. It's no coincidence that the saying goes, "We see the faces, but we don't know the hearts."
We might think: "Well, that's nothing new or out of the ordinary. I deal with that daily, even with those I don't like at the office." And indeed, it's nothing new. Precisely because of this, we need to pay close attention, as we have come to normalize and even accept these actions. While we may develop a "sixth sense" to identify when someone is genuine and when they are not, the fact that these behaviors are so normalized makes identifying authenticity in a highly competitive society a difficult mission that becomes harder with each passing day. And it is here where the old saying, "In a stirred-up river, the fishermen profit," applies to the Pirates of Dreams. They enter our lives, take advantage of us, and fade into the mist, becoming unrecognizable at first glance. We fall into their trap, and it's too late by the time we realize (if we ever do).
Greene & Elffers (2010) bring us back to reality in a very harsh and realistic way when they state that these pirates of dreams achieve their goal by presenting us with a cause or conviction so seductive that, even though vague, it is filled with captivating promises. Rather than encouraging us to reflect clearly and rationally, they push us down a path of persuasion where emotion and fervor dominate, demanding that we adopt rituals and sacrifices to prove our loyalty.
This may sound extreme and even surreal, but it is present in various life situations, from personal to professional. Below, I present some fictional cases (which may be very real for some) explaining this game of the Pirates of Dreams:
"They've had a very tough past" – The Family Pirate
There are cases where a family member constantly promises changes regarding toxic aspects affecting other family members but never takes action. After an episode of toxicity, they may say, in a calm moment, that they have a noble cause, like "changing for the good of everyone," but their behavior remains unchanged. Although they often seem affectionate or concerned, in the end, their need for control and selfishness prevails, and they will likely shield themselves by blaming someone or something, portraying themselves as the victim, not the perpetrator.
Family Pirates know how to exploit feelings of guilt or the need to "keep the peace," manipulating the situation to make others give in without questioning their motives.
"You're the first person I've told this" – The Romantic Pirate
This type of pirate is skilled at making promises of eternal love, commitment, and "everything for you." However, what they really want is for you to focus on their expectations and desires while they avoid taking responsibility. They can be highly charming at first, but over time, they begin to exploit emotional insecurities, using psychological manipulation to keep you in a cycle of doubt, sacrifice, and empty promises. It's the kind of relationship that seems ideal on the surface, but deep down, it only drains energy and trust.
"If you keep this up, you'll be the boss" – The Professional Pirate
The Professional Pirates are those leaders or coworkers who present themselves as visionaries or saviors. They promise promotions, incredible projects, or even radical changes in the company. But they're really after exploiting others' goodwill and working to achieve their goals without giving proper credit or even achieving the promised results. They are often the most generous with words, but in the end, they receive the most significant benefits while you and others are left with the project's success but empty energy and pockets.
"Sorry, but something happened to me that you won't believe" – The Friendly Pirate
These pirates are those "friends" who always have an excuse to ask for something. They seem to be in constant "search for help" or in difficult situations that require support. However, they are rarely there when you need them, and their presence tends to be more of an emotional void than a genuine connection. They often take advantage of your empathy, pretending to be vulnerable to get what they want without giving anything in return.
As you can see in all these scenarios, the Pirates of Dreams rely on a mixture of emotional and manipulative persuasion to convince us to join their cause, often without us realizing the actual cost until we are already trapped.
This is not a reason to encapsulate ourselves in a bubble or lock ourselves in a fortress and never leave. Not at all; rather, these pirates can give us a free ride, and instead of them taking advantage of us, we can turn their trick into a win-win situation for both, where we emerge victorious. Let's understand—everything in this life has a price, so everything is a negotiation.
Satoricha ~
References
Frankl, V., & Galleguillos, L. (2020, December 15). Tríada cognitiva de Beck: qué es este modelo teórico sobre la depresión? Psicología y Mente. Retrieved November 9, 2024, from https://psicologiaymente.com/clinica/triada-cognitiva-beck
Greene, R. (2020). Las Leyes de la Naturaleza Humana. Editorial Oceano de Mexico.
Greene, R., & Elffers, J. (2010). Las 48 leyes del poder (J. Elffers, Ed.). Editorial Atlántida.
Therapist Aid LLC. (2021). El triángulo cognitivo. Therapist Aid. Retrieved November 9, 2024, from https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cbt-triangle?language=es
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